Tonight I decided to drink Smirnoff Vodka Green Apple all alone… besides drinking tonight I decided that it was finally time to come out to my family. I originally decided to come out to family after my graduation, that came and went… then I decided to come out after my 18th birthday, much like my graduation that came and went. Now that I’m alone in my room and drunk I’ve decided to come out to my family this weekend. My grandma is sick and is basically dying and I know in my heart that I have to come out to her before her time is up. I’ve been crying for about 2 hours now, thinking about every scenario that could possibly happen when I speak the words “I am gay” to my family, will they still love me? will they shut me out? the pure thought of that terrifies me. My grandma and aunt raised me with my mom. If they didn’t accept me that would truly kill me. As I sit here in my room staring at my lava lamp, I can’t help but think about rejection from 2 out of the 3 most important women in my life…. what will I do if the don’t accept me? I’m sorry for this… not like any of you care anyway.